Pokémon: Johto League Cashflow Champions
by Blue Hiker
Summary: This was my first Pokémon fanfic. It's a parody detailing the excessive marketing of Pokémon. It's not the best story ever, but I'd still appreciate it if you read and reviewed it.


Pokémon: Johto League Cashflow Champions - Episode 1

Put simply, the fanfiction you're about to read is a parody of the Pokémon television series. It mainly focuses on how the Pokémon franchise is marketed into the ground, and how it makes disturbingly large sums of money, and so on and so forth. Before I start, let me say that I'm a huge fan of the show, and have nothing against it—I just thought it'd be cool to poke a little bit of harmless fun at the franchise.

I originally wrote this story quite a while ago (under a different title), but I've changed it dramatically, since we now know what the Johto series is really like, and I felt like my writing style has greatly improved since that time.

Pokémon is a trademark of Nintendo, Creatures, GAME FREAK, TV Tokyo, Sho-Pro, JR Kikaku, Kids' WB!, 4Kids Entertainment… I'm sure you get the point. Anyway, I have nothing to do with any of these companies, and I'm simply writing this story for fun. No copyright infringement is intended.

And with that, on with the first episode!

**_ _**

Last time, our heroes were headed for Random Color City, but a mysterious boy named Hiro halted their path and challenged Ash to a one-on-one Pokémon battle. Ash won the fight fair and square, and Hiro gave him a Pokémon named Sentret as an award! He also decided to hang around with Ash's group until they arrive at Random Color City. What new challenges await Ash and crew?

**_Pokémon_**

Johto League Cashflow Champions

(The following lyrics are sung to the tune of "Pokémon Johto")

It's the same old show you're watching!

Pokémon Johto

Everybody needs to buy more of our toys

Everybody here needs dollar bills

Everybody needs to grab cash faster

Make their way up the corporate hill

Each time, you buy

One of those li'l Pikachu toys

We take, your cash

And you can stick it up your ash!

It's the same old show you're watching

But we need to make more cash

So we make new toys, and add another ad break

And then, of course, we change the title

Every time that we have sex

Pokémon Johto

Pokémon Johto!

_(Pokémon will be right back, on Kids' WB!)_

_(Pokémon is back, on Kids' WB!)_

_ _

Team Rocket Makes Ash!

Pokémon: Johto League Cashflow Champions 

[www.pokemon.com][1] - [www.kidswb.com][2] - [www.4kidsent.com][3]

The scene is your average Pokémon episode. In a typical Ketchum-style move, Ash gets the group lost. While Ash and Misty furiously debate the trivial details of being lost, Brock is studying the all-important map. Hiro, the group's new friend, is finding something on the ground quite fascinating. Brock breaks up Ash and Misty's fighting to deliver an important announcement.

"According to the map, we can make it to Random Color City by following… that road over there!"

Ash looks around, but finding no road in sight, turns to his older friend for all the answers.

With his usual oblivious tone, he asks, "Umm, Brock… where _is_ this road you're talking about?"

Brock furiously blushes. "Uhh, we should be hitting it anytime soon!"

"Brock, that's what you said yesterday, and the day before, and the…" Hiro complained. He was clearly the most logical and intelligent of the group.

Brock, however, would take none of it! Making nervous whimpering sounds, he clamps his hand over Hiro's mouth, but not before Misty sent him sky-high with her trademark mallet.

Suddenly, a voice could be heard in the distance.

"Mooru mooru!"

Ash and the group looks towards the grass, where they see a bunch of 

weird-looking Pokémon.

"It's a bunch of… cows?" Hiro states the obvious.

While Ash is supposed to be a Pokémon trainer, he's pretty clueless, as usual, and turns to his Pokédex for help.

"Miltank, the cow Pokémon. This Pokémon is very lame and was put in 

by the producers to make big bucks. It is said to be the feminine equivalent 

of Tauros."

Ash puts on a determined face. "I'm gonna catch it!"

Hiro jumps in front of Ash. "No, I'm gonna catch it!" In a very goofy way, he adds, "I love cows!"

Many faces fall to the ground at that last comment. Be thankful you weren't in the area, for alas, that many people facefaulting is sure to make a racket!

"Lugia, go!" Hiro shouts.

The beast of majestic beauty appears.

"Wow! It's Lugia, one of the rarest Pokémon in the world!" Brock observes.

"What's a Lugia?"

Again, many heads fall to the ground.

"Togi pri!" (Buy me!)

"Pika pika!" (Buy me!)

_(It's time to go to a commercial break, on Kids' WB!)_

_(Pokémon is back, halfway through a battle scene, on Kids' WB! Don't you love our editing skills?)_

"Lugia, the guardian Pokémon. It is said to protect the three legendary bucks. It was designed to star in it's own movie which made a truckload of money."

"Why did the movie make so much money?" Ash enquires.

"Because they used enough stills to make the movie animate at ten frames per second!" explains Misty.

"Lugia!" orders Hiro. "Use your Bubble attack!"

"Got it!"

Lugia blasts the Miltank with a Bubble attack, and the Miltank drops to the ground, milk squirting out of its udders. It looks pretty dead.

"You're mine, Miltank! Pokéball, go!"

"That… was pathetic," says Brock in a very uncharacteristic manner.

"Lugia, return!" shouts Hiro.

"Why did you catch that hopeless cow Pokémon? It looked, smelled, and 

had the same power as a Magikarp!" Misty complains.

Hiro goes into a goofy voice. "Because, I love cows. That Miltank just looked so adorable, I had to catch it!"

_(Who's That Pokémon?)_

_ _

_ _

_(It's Miltank! "Mooru!")_

"Look! It's Random Color City!" goes Brock, stating more obvious facts.

"Yay!" goes everybody else.

"Pika!" (Buy!)

"Togi prii!" (Buy me!)

Brock tries to explain, "This Pokémon guide states that Random Color City is where Togepi was first found!"

"Really?" asks Hiro. "I had a Togepi once. But I got kinda hungry, so…"

Misty took that very personally. "Why you little…! How dare you hurt a poor little Togepi like that! You're gonna pay! Go, Horsea!"

"Horseeeeaaaaa!"

Unfortunately for Misty, Horsea splats some of its oil-like stuff in her face. This makes her quite annoyed, and by some miracle she manages to catch alight and have her head inflated.

"Stupid Horsea, return!"

And it did.

"Togi prii!" (Buy me!)

There was an awkward silence, before it was broken by three very obvious voices.

"Hahahahahahaha!"

A woman speaks.

"Prepare for trouble!"

"Huh? Who's that?" Ash wonders.

More heads on the ground—more facefaulting.

Ash finally figures it out. "Oh! It's Team Rocket! I should've guessed! But, I'm just too dumb!"

"Make it double…" says James.

"Kids' WB! Presents…" says Jessie.

"A 4Kids Entertainment Production…" says James.

"In Association With Nintendo…" says Meowth.

"Team Rocket!" they all say together.

_(Time for yet another commercial break, on Kids' WB!)_

_ _

_ _

_(Pokémon: Johto League Cashflow Champions is back!)_

"To give the world some decent animation!"

"To get this crap off every station!"

"To promote the evils of still frames in action!"

"To extend our arms to the blimp above!"

"Heeey!" Meowth interrupts. "I'm in this stupid blimp and I'm floating awaaay!"

"What?" asks Jessie.

Together, the Rockets shout, "Oh no! The blimp's floating away!"

Meowth scratches the blimp, and it comes toppling to the ground, and of course, Meowth falls out on the way down.

"Meeee-ouch!"

"How dare you interrupt the motto!" Jessie whinges.

"We get paid millions to say that!" moans James. "Now we'll have to do the motto all over again!"

"Wake us up when you're finished!" shouts Ash.

Jessie and James clear their throats.

"To give the world some decent animation!"

"To get this crap off every station."

"To promote the evils of still frames in action!"

"To point our weapons at the twerps above!"

"Kids' WB! Presents the fabulous Jessie!"

"And the spectacular James!"

"Team Rocket sells out at the speed of light!"

"Surrender now or prepare to buy!"

"Hey guys, I think I fixed the Team Rocket buck blimp!"

"Yippie!" Jessie and James shout, in a sudden lapse of professionalism.

Unfortunately for them, Meowth accidentally starts the blimp. It collects Jessie and James as it takes off, and they're left clinging on to the sides.

"It looks like Team Rocket's selling out again!"

Well, what's happened here?! It looks like this episode has ended at the same place where it began! Watch out, Ash and friends—if you make any episodes which fit seamlessly in any part of the plot, chances are that WB will take that as their cue to, well, put them anywhere in the plot! If you want your series intact, you'd better make some important episodes—fast! Will they break the Johto tradition to keep their viewers? Or will this be their very first marketing blunder? Find out next time, on Pokémon: Johto League Cashflow Champions!

"Pika pika!" (Buy me!)

"Togi prii!" (Buy me!)

Did you like it?

Even though I already know it's not the best story ever, I appreciate feedback. Please review! If you'd prefer to contact me personally, you can send any feedback to [bluehiker_au@yahoo.com.au][4]

Thanks!

   [1]: http://www.pokemon.com/
   [2]: http://www.kidswb.com/
   [3]: http://www.4kidsent.com/
   [4]: mailto:bluehiker_au@yahoo.com.au



End file.
